I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
