We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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