Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
