I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
