pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
