Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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