Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
