Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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