I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
