Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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