I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
