new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
