hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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