Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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