we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
