If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
