at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
