the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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