You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
