yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
