I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
