I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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