We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
