You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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