I'm really into asian looking animals
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Randomize
