if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
