you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
