he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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