Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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