covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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