love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
