I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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