You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
