So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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