Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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