we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
