I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
