can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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