my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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