Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
