You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
