you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
