my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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