Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
