so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
