giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
