she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
