Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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