How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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