nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
