hell yes lets make some ravioli
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
