ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
how drunk are you?
Several
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
