The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
