giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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