He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
