i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
